18. Suicide

The following information was provided by Suicide Attempt Follow-up Education & Research Program (SAFER). 

WHERE TO LOOK FOR HELP

• Family doctor





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• School counsellor
• Crisis centers
• S.A.F.E.R.
• Mental Health Teams
• The Emergency Department of your nearest Hospital
• Religious counselor

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SUICIDE FACTS: HOW TO RECOGNIZE SUICIDE RISK HOW TO HELP YOURSELF IF YOU ARE IN A SUICIDAL CRISIS
Many people think about suicide in their lives. You possibly have a friend or relative who has thought about suicide.You, too, may have occasional feelings of hopelessness. Suicide crosses all social, economic and cultural boundaries. A significant percentage of people who complete suicide appeared to be functioning well prior to their death. 
The rate for men over 65 is also high. Women have a lower rate of death by suicide, but current trends show their attempts are becoming more lethal.
Four out of five people who complete suicide have previously expressed suicidal thoughts. It is very important to take all suicide thoughts and attempts seriously:

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• Direct or indirect statements about death or suicide. History of previous suicide attempts.
• Recent traumatic loss (eg. Suicide death of a loved one)
• Any sudden change in behaviour or mood (eg. From being talkative and outgoing to becoming withdrawn).
• Depression (eg. crying, sleep and appetite disturbances, hopelessness).
• Finalizing affairs (eg. giving away possessions, making a will or saying good-byes).
• Increased use of drugs or alcohol.

You may be feeling confused and overwhelmed and believe you are in an unsolvable crisis. You are not alone.Others who have experienced emotional difficulties have been helped by reaching out to someone they trust or by talking to an experienced professional.
If you are in crisis, you deserve help.
LISTEN

• Be aware of warning signs of suicide and take them seriously.



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• Discuss feelings openly and frankly.
• If you suspect they are suicidal ASK.
• Discussion is the first step in giving help.
• Show concern and understanding.
• Get involved in efforts to reach out for help.
• Be objective and nonjudgemental.
• Share responsibility by encouraging involvement of family and close friends.
• Help the person to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses.

With counseling you can:

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• Expect emotional support.
• Look at past and current issues that may be contributing to your difficulties.
• Learn new problem-solving skills.
• Begin to take charge and feel less helpless.



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• Find and build on your strengths.
• Begin to identify alternative options to suicide.
• There are other solutions.

FACT: Eight out of ten people who kill themselves give definite clues of suicidal feelings.

FACT: Suicidal people, even if they seem to have it all, may not feel okay about themselves. They feel they can't meet their own expectations.
FACT: Most suicidal people want to end their pain and see death as the only way out.

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FACT: Talking with them about suicide doesn't increase their risk. He or she will more likely feel a sense of relief that finally someone is allowing them an opportunity to talk.
FACT: Suicidal people feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless and usually require professional support.
FACT: Just because the suicidal person is unhappy, doesn't mean they are crazy.Most of us have felt despair at some time in our lives and may have been suicidal.

ARE THEY SUICIDAL?

CHECKLIST
What they're saying:

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• Nothing goes right for me.
• Whatever, nothing matters anyway.
• I just can't take it anymore.
• It'll all be over soon.
• I wish I was dead.

What's happening:

• Relationship break-up
• Family troubles
• History of being abused or depressed
• Feeling like a failure
• Feeling like there's no place to turn for help

What you see:

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• Sadness
• Lack of interest or energy
• Changes in eating, sleeping habits, or appearance.
• Any dramatic changes in behaviour, actions, or attitude
• Being unusually quiet or unusually aggressive/angry.
• Dropping out of hobbies, sports, school or job.
• Talking about death or cult figures who died by suicide.
• Taking risks (driving recklessly, unsafe sex)
  Using alcohol or drugs a lot



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• Giving away possessions and saying good byes

HOW TO HELP

1. Learn the common clues that may indicate that your friend is suicidal.
2. Let them know you care about them and want to help.
3. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.
   Ask questions about their feelings and let them do the talking.
4. Ask the question: Has it been so bad that you've thought of killing yourself?



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5. Try not to judge or argue, just understand.
6. If you think they might harm themselves right now, don't leave them alone. Contact someone for assistance.
7. Ask for help, even if they've asked you not to tell anyone. Remember: BETTER AN ANGRY FRIEND THAN A DEAD FRIEND.
8. Continue to offer support and stay in contact with the person.Get support for yourself too.



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9. Don't promise to keep secrets or keep it confidential.Involve a trusted adult immediately. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN

WHERE TO GO FOR HELP:
School: A favourite teacher/coach, a school counselor, a principal or vice-principal
A minister or rabbi
A trusted adult
Departments close to your home